Accepting Anger

Accepting Anger: “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” – Mark Twain

Excessive anger and chronic negative emotions are detrimental to our physical and mental health.

Yet, expressing anger in a healthy way can protect us and help elevate our sense of personal well-being.

Our Anger Involves More Than Just Our Feelings

At the end of the day, experiencing feelings of anger, anxiety, sadness, shame and frustration are normal. After all, these are all just expressions of our emotions that help us navigate through life and even better understand ourselves. There is no way to escape feeling upset or hurt as human beings entirely, and we cannot avoid anger.

But, we can learn to control our anger to protect ourselves and our intimate relationships.

Learning to Understand Our Angry Feelings

It is perfectly normal to feel angry. Our stress levels, daily life, professional lives, even personal relationships, and thinking patterns can contribute to all the different reasons we may get upset or feel angry. At the end of the day, our anger is an emotional reaction to outside stimuli that helps us respond to challenging situations.

However, we must keep in mind that the way we manage anger is a learned response.

And that when we do not manage to control our anger in an appropriate tone, we put ourselves at risk. Additionally, we may also be hurting friends, family members, and other loved ones. Aggression as a physical response to angry feelings is not natural. And psychology today makes the point that angry people who lash out in aggressive ways may need professional help to learn how to express anger in healthier ways.

Angry Feelings Occur on an Emotional Response Scale

Currently, professionals understand anger as an emotion that is neither good nor bad. In many instances, our anger can help fuel us into action, thus preparing us to take on physical threats or manage difficult conversations.

However, when a person has an anger problem, their angry emotions can hurt them mentally and physically.

Like other emotions, feelings of anger are triggered by either internal or external forces. In cartoons, artists help us understand the movement of anger expression through steam blowing out someone’s ears and characters turning bright red rapidly. Or even comical explosions where the subject bursts out in a temper tantrum. Yet, even though these representations may seem like just a bid for laughter, these humorous illustrations of anger help us better understand our emotions in a moment of rage.

Today, many people understand that an individual’s reaction to anger tells us a lot about the person themselves.

The Physical and Mental Health Effects of Feeling Anger

Like other feelings, we, as humans, feel anger in different severities. We may experience anger in mild, moderate, or severe cases.

A mild case of anger expression resulting in irritation. Moderate experiences of anger resulting in a general “angry feeling.” But when we deal with extreme anger, it can lead us to losing control—and losing control when angry can cause us to wrong others or even lead to aggression.

Our anger can be incredibly multifaceted and can include many other negative emotions when not handled correctly.

Different Levels of Anger Can Make Us Deal with Other Emotions, Including:

• Feelings of shame
• Fear
• Deep sadness
• Depressive emotions anxiety
• Feeling frustration

Physical Side Effects of Anger Can Include:

• Shakiness caused by adrenalin
• Struggling with chronic headaches
• Digestive issues
• Skin problems
• Increased heart rate
• Higher risk of stroke
• Higher susceptibility to heart disease
• Greater risk of developing diabetes
• Hypertension (high blood pressure)
• Having trouble getting enough sleep (insomnia)
• Struggling with weakened immune systems

Anger’s Effects on Mental Health Can Include:

• Mental cloudiness
• Problems thinking
• Tunnel vision (inability to reduce anger)
• Issues concentrating on anything but anger
• Chronic anger can lead to long-term depression
• Anger problems can interfere with a person’s ability to enjoy life
• Lead to increased stress
• Allowing emotions to fuel anger can also lead to substance abuse disorders
• Uncontrolled anger can also lead to other mental health issues and mood disorders

The Effects of Anger on Personal Relationships:

• Harboring a negative emotion like anger can make it hard for friends to speak to you
• Angry parents can leave lasting scars on their children, including:
  • Making it hard for their children to learn effective ways of repressing anger in the future
  • Child neglect
  • Other forms of child abuse
• Anger can drive a wedge between you and family members, making them feel like they can’t trust you to talk about important life matters
• An angry person in a romantic relationship can also pose physical and mental harm to their partner from their angry outbursts

Anger’s Relationship with Professional Careers:

• Chronic anger management problems can make it hard for a person to accept constructive criticism
• Allowing feelings of injustice to build at work can make people feel as though everyone is out to get them
• Lack of anger management in the workplace can alienate co-coworkers
• Anger in a professional setting can also make it hard to listen to directions from your boss
• People who wrestle with anger in the workplace find it hard to create supportive, lasting relationships in the professional world with clients, colleagues, and supervisors
• Those who often have anger outbursts at work tend to lose a great deal of trust and respect from coworkers

Anger and Its Relationship With Substance Abuse

In the end, allowing emotion to regulate our responses to internal and external stressors solely is a sign we need urgent help. The good news is that even if you feel like your anger controls you, or you believe your rage is what determines your reactions, this is not true.

How we respond to our anger is a learned habit.

Everyone Struggles with Anger Sometimes, but Our Anger Does Not Need to Control Us

And even though an anger management problem can result in severe consequences, like developing an alcohol use disorder or drug abuse issue. We can learn to overcome our negative emotions with professional help. For years substance abuse has been closely related to rage and problems with lack of self-control.

But luckily, we all can learn how to be masters over our emotions, thoughts, and reactions, no matter what stage of life we are in. Imagine being able to enjoy family gatherings again without your temper getting the best of you. Or imagine being able to feel calmer after a stressful day after work when you take some deep breaths.

Healing is possible. And accepting anger is the first step to recovery.

Expressing Anger Itself is Not a Bad Thing; It How We Express Ourselves That Matters

Anger is nothing more than an emotion, and sometimes it’s an emotion that helps propel us through challenging times.

And other times, our anger can be the very emotion that keeps us from succeeding. Closely related to fear, anger can be justifiable in some cases. But in others, it can be completely irrational. Yet, just because we experience anger does not mean we have to let it control us.

Being angry or having angry feelings is not inherently a problem. However, like fear, if we allow our anger to do what it pleases, we risk severe injury to ourselves and others.

Three Helpful Ways to Better Manage Your Anger

Learning to control their anger may seem an impossible task for some individuals. But luckily, with professional help and taking a few extra steps at home, the process of learning how to control anger and rage does not need to be so overwhelming.

So, without further ado, here are three helpful ways to manage your anger in addition to therapeutic intervention.

#1 Accepting Anger and Finding the Cause of Your Irritation

Responses to emotions like fear and anger can occur over something minor. But even overreactions to small issues usually point to a bigger problem.

Practicing self-reflection and learning to search for what triggers our anger are essential components of the healing process. Because as we learn the overall cause of our angry responses, we can better prepare ourselves to handle our triggers in the future. So that our anger no longer gets the best of us. Once we understand how our anger comes to fruition, we can move on to accepting our anger. By accepting our anger, we learn to accept ourselves.

This way, we avoid falling into a pit of shame and guilt over our emotional responses. We can better focus our energy on healing and doing better in the future.

#2 Prioritizing Deep Breaths and Fresh Air

Not all forms of anger stem from the same triggers. And not all triggers will respond well to different release methods.

Like addiction treatment in substance abuse rehabs, different people who struggle with anger issues will respond better to other relaxation and healing methods. For some people, that means journaling about their feelings of anger to release pent-up emotions without taking their frustration out on others.

Even so, for other people, getting out into the fresh air and learning deep breathing techniques helps them relax. The great news is that a person can use hundreds of different breathing techniques to help them calm down or retain tranquility.

In many drug and alcohol rehab facilities, therapists teach different breathing techniques to help clients build new coping skills. Some of these breathing methods include:

• The deep breathing technique
• The 4 4 4 technique
• The 4 7 8 breathing method

#3 Prioritizing Self-Care and Health Management to Help Balance Yourself

It is common for anger and frustration to build when we feel worn down. As a result, one excellent way for us to help ourselves combat anger is by learning to prioritize caring for ourselves. In addiction treatment, one of the most common lessons patients learn is how to balance themselves out in daily life.

Similarly, when learning to better cope with anger, individuals are encouraged to take time for themselves to regain their balance on a regular cycle. Prioritizing self-care as a form of anger management can include:

• Getting enough sleep
• Engaging in regular exercise
• Eating a healthy, balanced diet
• Journaling about daily life and emotions
• Socializing with a solid support group of friends and family

The road to recovery can be long, but it is worth the journey. Living with chronic anger can rob you of life events, happiness, and even mental/physical health. But once you decide to do better for yourself and step away from anger, you can begin to reconnect with loved ones and enjoy your life and healing.

Where there is a will, there is a way. And healing can be yours today!

St. John’s Recovery Place – A Substance Abuse Rehab that Specializes in Holistic Healing

St. John’s Recovery Place (SJRP) is a drug and alcohol rehab facility dedicated to helping clients heal in mind, body, and spirit. Here at St. John’s, we understand better than anyone the impact substance abuse and anger can have on your life.

And that is why we have cultivated some of the best holistic healing methods to help our clients recover.

SJRP Can Help You Heal in Mind, Body, and Spirit

Anger and substance abuse disorders no longer have to rule your life. With the help of the quality staff at St. John’s Recovery Place, you can heal! If you want to know more about SJRP and our treatment services, you can call us today at 1-833-397-3422 or visit us online to learn more.

If you or a loved one struggles with addiction and an anger management problem, we would love to help you take your next steps toward healing! Call us today and start your journey toward recovery now!